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Perspectives on Grieving

Mother’s Day Reflection

Mother's Day has always been, and continues to be, a difficult day for me.  Though I believe I had it easier than many children that lost a mother because my Grandmother stepped in to raise me after my Mom died.  My Grandma became my Mom… but it was not the same. There was a generational difference that just highlighted the fact that I didn't have a mother.  When all the kids were making Mother's Day cards in class for their mom's, my card said Grandmother.  It embarrassed me at the time because even the kids that hadn't previously known about my situation quickly became aware and once again I was the 'different" kid.  Of course now as an adult I understand and can appreciate how hard she tried, the sacrifices she made and amazing she was. 

One might think things would get better after I had children of my own but it actually got worse. I became consumed thinking about what my mother had missed out on and how tragic and unfair it was for her. She never got to meet her grand kids or to know me as an adult.  My own grown sons are extremely sensitive to my feelings and do their best to surprise me and treat me special on Mother’s Day. They really get it!

My reasons for volunteering at Imagine are twofold; first, because I really believe in Imagine's vision.  I like to think my life could have been a little less challenging if only Imagine was in existence 50 years ago and I want to do my small part to help children deal with their losses in a more supportive environment. Secondly, to heal myself.  Imagine reminds me that I am not alone.  
  

 Mara pictured in the middle of her sisters at age 4.  Mara's grandmother who raised her. 

About the Author

Mara Zilberberg is the owner with her husband Scott of Bagel Chateau in Westfield.  Prior to that Mara was VP at State Street Bank and Director at Deutsche Bank. Originally from Brooklyn, NY, Mara has lived for over the past 20 years in Westfield with her family.

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